you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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