like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
