sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
