Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
