She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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