I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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