shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So much rum. So many feels.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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