lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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