My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
