You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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