I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
