Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
