I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
