only if we run a train.
done.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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