She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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