i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
