Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
