Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
