At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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