Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
