ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
operation harelip BJ is a go
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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