We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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