she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
