it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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