Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She said her name was "party"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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