THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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