Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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