I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I made him laugh his dick is mine
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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