There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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