i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize