her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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