Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
