i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
