we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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