worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
