im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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