On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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