I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
