I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
