last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
do herpes really smell.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
