but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
