So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
