is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
