im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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