just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
