OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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