school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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