no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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