Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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