You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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