I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So much rum. So many feels.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
