OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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