i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Randomize
