State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize