i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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