I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize