smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
