Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
