I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I currently don't understand fingers.
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