yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
