I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
